Saturday, June 20, 2009


Click.ogg Click.mp3
This one has a language warning, and is not work-safe. Read the lyrics before you download it and listen in a setting where such things are frowned upon.

I was driving home from Greensboro and thinking about a friend, Keith. As I was wondering what would drive someone to commit suicide, I came up with this theme. I told William about it... the singer is playing Russian Roulette, with each pull re-evaluating his decision. Each verse would end with a pull of the trigger, and each following verse would begin with "click!" He sent me several sets of words... I wound up taking bits from the different pieces he sent me to make the verses, and added the last verse myself.

I don't know how much time the real Keith spent agonizing over his decision; I don't even know whether he used a revolver, only that he shot himself.

I was hesitating about telling you any of this, but realized that the song is for those of us who care, as well as for those without whom he couldn't live. Keith lost his wife and children to divorce; his business was lost due to an embezzling partner. He was faced with building it all again from nothing, or living with the loss. It doesn't take a great imagination to empathize with his state of mind when he pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, none of his friends had any idea that he was even contemplating such a thing, as he didn't reveal the slightest indication of it. Depression... yes, to the extent expected by the circumstances. Suicide... big surprise.

dfl & wmh - April 20, 2005;
music completed June 18, 2009


the spider builds her web
it's only me and you
the demon in my head
no hands are on the clock
i'm down upon my knees
my head upon the block

all the life-long struggles
to stay above the ground
the hopes and dreams are beaten flat
by the hammer falling down...

...and the hammer falls.

absent sense of humor
by the white coats and the blood
staring up mesmerized
by the naked light above
swinging like a pendulum
flying like a dove

years and lives and fortunes
pass away without a sound
time's just numbers on a clock
whose hands won't turn around

and the time is here at last
moments here on earth were fun
while this final one's a blast

...and the hammer falls.

damn it!
i'm not a droid
when I get annoyed
why can't you avoid spouting freud at me
i don't give a fuck
'cause lately i'm struck
how my luck is just stuck in the toilet so
don't tell me what to believe
i wear my heart on my sleeve
while you steal everything i've achieved

...and the hammer falls

btw, you might notice the "numbers on a clock" line bears a striking resemblance to the title of the last song I posted. Yeah, well... sometimes you get an idea in your head and you just can't get rid of it. Besides, I have it on good authority that it's OK to plagiarize yourself. FYI, it appeared in "Click" first. "Numbers on a Clock" was written almost five years later.

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