Thursday, November 3, 2011

Heart of Glass (not quite)


Those who know me well know never to turn the car radio to a music station while I'm riding. I have the worst habit of changing the lyrics. I don't usually write them down (Billy Jean being an exception), but I'm making another exception for this rendition of "Heart of Glass" only because there's a tiny Easter egg in it for +Julia Sherred . By the way, this is astoundingly predictable and puerile, even for me. Quite suitable for your next karaoke party. Feel free to flip the gender. Oh, and I apologise profusely for this. Don't read it. 

Instead, watch the original by Blondie.



Once I had a love, but she had gas
It wilted flowers, and killed the grass
Smelled like a dead cow
(the rotting kind)
Keep your nose clear Of her behind

Once I had a love, but she had gas
A smelly green cloud came out of her ass
Smelled like a fishpond
(I'm being kind)
Keep your nose clear of her behind

She cut the cheese
Can't get this kind of limberger at Applebee's
The miasma around it drops me to my knees
I wish I had a mask 'cause it don't do no good
To filter with my hood-ie....

Once I had a love, but she had gas
A smelly green cloud came out of her ass
Smelled like a fishpond
(I'm being kind)
Keep your nose clear of her behind

This hellish scent
Pepe Le Pew thinks that she's Heaven-sent
The things I'd like to say! (I'm glad it isn't Lent!)
[alternate line: It's like she's some mad scientist's experiment]
My lungs are close to bursting, ye-ah.

(La la la)
(lalalalala)
(la la la)
(lalalala)
(la la la)
(lalalala)
Yeah, riding high, oxygen deprivation!
[alternate line: Yeah, riding high on methane concentrations!]
Ooh ooh whoa (x4)

Once I had a love, but she had gas
So I hired BP to plug her ass.
Smelled like a dead cow
(the rotting kind)
Keep your nose clear Of her behind
Ooh ooh whoa (x4)

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