Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Gotta Pee (parody)

(Damn, Dave, are you actually going to write a song bio for this one?  'fraid so)

The SpinTunes 8, Round 4 challenge is as follows:
Painful Progression - Write a song about PHYSICAL pain, and do so using a I-V-vi-IV chord progression in the chorus. (2 minute minimum) (your submission is due Sunday, March 23rd 11:59PM)
To say I was underwhelmed would be an understatement. This is probably the most common chord progression in all of popular music. For those who are music theory-impaired, it simply means you start with the C chord, followed by G, then A minor, then F.  Then do it some more. If you were to do that, then transpose it to any other key, you would still have an I-V-vi-IV chord progression.

Now, the judges "clarified" this. *sigh*. That's never good. So here are the restrictions. There are to be no substitutions & variations of chord progression of any kind.
"I think we should say no, he can't harmonize with four-note (or more) chords, he should stick to the basic chord tones. If Edric wants to add bass notes making, say, C/D (a slash chord, C major played above a D in the bass) I think we are in agreement that these embellishments should not be allowed in the portion of the song that uses the required progression. This is different than inversions, where he might play a C major chord with the lowest note an F or a G, which I think is fine (guitar players do that all the time from the day they learn the most basic chord fingerings)." - A Judge's response.
There are so MANY songs written with this progression it seems wasteful to add to all of the noise pollution. So I decided that to maximize my artistic expression to communicate exactly how I fell about this, I could just pick one at random, since without variation they'd all sound a lot like this anyway (and more talkee after the lyrics, including a little secret):
.

Gotta Pee

When the clock goes off at ten til seven, 
Mother Nature calls to me 
Time to hit the bathroom 
Gotta pee 

And in this hour of darkness 
I stumble, wishing I could see 
I can't find the light switch 
Gotta pee 

Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
I feel the pressure building 
Gotta pee 

And when the toilet's occupado 
I think we can all agree 
Painful is the waiting 
Gotta pee 

I may not last another minute 
It may be the sink for me *
These are new pajamas! 
Gotta pee 

Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
I'm not going to make it, 
Gotta pee 

Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
I can't communicate the 
Urgency 

[Instrumental]

Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
Gotta pee, Gotta pee, 
I simply can't avoid 
Necessity


Musical Notes:

Are you kidding? This is the Beatles', not mine.

Note this careful reading of the challenge:  "...using a I-V-vi-IV chord progression in the chorus". There's not a requirement to use more than one. Despite all the attempts of the judges to lock this down to the simplest chords ever, they really fail spectacularly. You don't have to be anywhere close to this progression anywhere in the song except one time in the chorus. And they can "clarify" the challenge all day long, but they can NOT change what's published.

Barracks-lawyer for the win. BOO-yah.

Nevertheless, this song doesn't meet the challenge. The Beatles used the progression in the verses, not the chorus.

Lyrical Notes

Bladder pain is physical pain.

Now, regarding the lyrics, I realize that they are commonplace and uninspired. No problem, so are the chords, so this is also a deliberate artistic choice. I also realize that many other people have used the same concept and even done parodies. I've heard some of them, and as sad as it may sound, I think this one's better. May Heaven help us.


* "Credit" for the line "It may be the sink for me" goes to Tom Giarrosso of the Boffo Yux Dudes. That totally wasn't my fault ;)


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